Romeo Romeo
by madmartagan
Summary: GJ asks Kim to go under cover with Will Du. Will the mission be a sweet honeymoon, or Humilation Nation?
1. Parental Romance

I normally don't write fan fiction because I have a lot of serious writing to do,  
  
(the kind that pays money). However I've been having this dream repeatedly- which  
  
should warn you against reading fan fiction late at night- and I feel the need to put it on  
  
paper. I have no idea how long it will take between updates.  
  
Of course I do not own Kim Possible; none of us need to really say it, because the  
  
powers that be don't really care. (In truth I think they stole the outline for "A Sitch in  
  
Time" from one of my posts two years ago in which I outlined possible plots for a Kim  
  
Possible movie.)  
  
As for my views on fan fiction I am not planning on spending a lot of time  
  
rewriting this, as I am not submitting it for publication. However I will put it through  
  
spell check. (Hint, hint to everyone else) Also, I believe fan fiction should try to remain  
  
with the spirit of the inspiration. Unfortunately I have not seen most of the recent  
  
episodes so I don't really have Monique's "style" yet. If I get it incorrect you can't say I  
  
didn't warn you.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Shot of Middleton High:  
  
"Well that was the lamest ending to the lamest story I ever heard," Ron complains  
  
as he put his books in his locker.  
  
Kim poked her head past Ron's locker door. "Ron," Kim protests, "It's only the  
  
most famous love story in all of English Literature"  
  
"Two kids start crushing on each other, and when their parents put the brakes on  
  
they kill themselves!" exclaims Ron, spreading his arms in disbelief, "What kind of  
  
message does that give to innocent high school students."  
  
"Ron, their parents were sworn enemies, and would never let them pledge to  
  
marry," Kim pauses, tucking a stray wisp of hair behind her ear, "Though I do think  
  
suicide was overreacting a bit."  
  
"They were our age Kim," Ron says, waving his arms to emphasize his points,  
  
"They were way too young to be talking about marriage! High school isn't the time for  
  
serious relationships. Look at me!" Ron gestures grandly, leaning against his locker,  
  
"Sure, I play the field, but I never become attached, do I?"  
  
Kim's eyebrows rise in amusement with Ron's statement. She smiles  
  
disbelievingly, "So that's why you're ready to date any girl you can?"  
  
"Exactly Kim," Ron smiles, glad Kim has seen his point; "High school dating is  
  
to find out what kind of girl you like. College is for marriage."  
  
Kim's face changes from amusement to puzzled recognition. "Who told you that  
  
Ron? It sounds like what-"  
  
"Dr. P," Ron proudly interrupts, "He was quite the ladies man at my age."  
  
"So not!" declares Kim, rolling her eyes as they begin walking down the hall.  
  
"Then tell me how he ended up with someone like your mom," says Ron  
  
defensively.  
  
"Ron!" Affronted, Kim frowns at Ron.  
  
"What?" asks Ron, wondering how he had offended Kim this time.  
  
"They're my parents," stresses Kim, as if that should explain everything.  
  
"Come on KP, they weren't always old. Your dad must have been quite the  
  
charmer to convince your mom to marry him, and look how they still keep the flames  
  
alive," insists Ron, "Not every one has parents who are so romantic."  
  
"Yeah, if you think country line dancing is romantic," retorts Kim, becoming a  
  
little irritated, as they pass through the exit from Middleton High and begin walking  
  
home.  
  
Rufus sticks his head out of Ron's pocket wearing a cowboy hat and bandana.  
  
Doffing the hat, he comments, "Romantic!"  
  
"How did they first meet?" asks Ron, "I bet it's more romantic than Romeo and  
  
Juliet."  
  
"I don't know, and I doubt it," Kim answers distractedly, busy planning how to  
  
change the subject.  
  
"You don't know how your parents first met!" Ron is astonished. "My parents  
  
tell their story every chance they get! My mother was waiting at the bus stop," continues  
  
Ron, "when my father came and sat next to her squishing her sack lunch flat." Ron  
  
thrusts his hands down and out to demonstrate.  
  
Surprised, Kim responds, "She still went out with him?"  
  
"Nah, she got angry and yelled at him," Ron corrects, "but later that week my dad  
  
saw her at the synagogue and convinced her to let him buy her lunch as repayment. My  
  
mom says she knew she was going to marry him after that first lunch."  
  
"Now that's romantic," snickers Kim sarcastically.  
  
"Yeah..." lost in his own thoughts, Ron suddenly realizes Kim is mocking him,  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Be – Be – Be Beep," the Kimmunicator interrupts before Ron can find a good  
  
comeback.  
  
Kim pulls the device out of her pocket and switches it on. "What's the sitch  
  
Wade?"  
  
The boy on the screen takes a sip of soda before answering, "Got a message from  
  
Global Justice, they need your help for a mission."  
  
"Hey Wade," Ron interjects, "Do you know how your parents first met?"  
  
"Boy do I ever," Wade rolls his eyes as he leans back in his chair, "They tell the  
  
story every chance they get. They thought they met through an Internet chat room, when  
  
actually they had already-"  
  
Kim interrupts, "No time for stories Wade, tell GJ I'll be there as soon as I can get  
  
a ride."  
  
"Already taken care of Kim," as Wade clicks a button on his keyboard a hole  
  
appears under Kim's feet, into which she disappears with a whoosh. The hole closes  
  
behind her.  
  
Ron looks at the spot where Kim disappeared. "You know, I still find a world full  
  
of holes that go whoosh kind of disturbing," observes Ron as Rufus sticks his head out to  
  
see where Kim has gone. They both stare at where the hole had been till Ron comments  
  
to Rufus, "Why do you think I never get my own whoosh hole?"  
  
Rufus looks up at Ron and shrugs, "Iuhno."  
  
"Huh," Ron shrugs his shoulders and turns to walk home, certain Kim will fill  
  
him in once she gets back. 


	2. The Mission

The Director of Global Justice is sitting behind her desk in her office when Kim  
  
flies out of one of many tubes running in from outside the room. Rolling into a forward  
  
somersault, Kim lands on her feet, her arms spread wide to catch her balance. Regaining  
  
her composure, Kim brushes her hair behind her shoulders as she looks at the Director.  
  
"Have you ever considered more conventional methods of travel?" asks Kim, affecting a  
  
nonchalant air, though she was actually a little flustered.  
  
The Director had risen from her chair to greet Kim. Distracted by Kim's question  
  
she responds, "I've suggested it myself, but it would break with agency tradition." With  
  
a blink of her eye and a jerk of her head, the Director recovers her focus, "However  
  
that's not why you're here." Pressing a button on her desk and overhead screen turns on,  
  
displaying booking photographs of a pale skinned brunette dressed in green and black,  
  
and a blue faced man with a large scar.  
  
"Shego, and Dr. Drakken," Kim accentuates their names, "What are they up to  
  
this time?"  
  
"That's just it- We don't know," replies the Director, "It came to our attention that  
  
the subjects were acquiring materials of a dangerous nature. Our best scientists have  
  
analyzed the list of items and extrapolated possible objectives in keeping with the  
  
subjects' modus operandi." Several drawings flash across the screen, a laser looking  
  
weapon, a massive hairdryer pointed at the North Pole, a machine with a chair and Fermi  
  
rods sticking out. Each of the drawings had some parts outlined in red, and others in  
  
green. "As you can see, each of these devices requires additional parts. However, Dr.  
  
Drakken and his accomplice have ceased their collections, and instead purchased tickets  
  
on an exclusive cruise ship."  
  
"I don't understand," protests Kim, "If you know he's up to something, why don't  
  
you just stop him?"  
  
As the Director opens her mouth a voice from the corner of the room responds for  
  
her, "An experienced agent seeks to discover his enemy's plan before taking action."  
  
Will Du steps out of the shadows in the Director's office. Kim glares at him, irritated  
  
that she hadn't noticed him before.  
  
The Director addresses Kim, "You've meet Agent Will Du before. He's our lead  
  
agent on this case."  
  
"Great," says Kim without much conviction, "so tell me more about this cruise  
  
they're on."  
  
Will Du pulls out a Data pad and begins reading from it, "The H.M.S. Sweet  
  
Cheese: Operates in the Pacific, Clients are exclusively honeymooners, primarily  
  
newlyweds, the subjects registered under the pseudonyms Mr. and Mrs. Lipsky."  
  
"Whoa! Wait a minute," Kim raises her hands in protest, disbelief paints her face,  
  
"Drakken and Shego- on a honeymoon?"  
  
Will Du raises a condescending eyebrow, "An amateur might come to such a  
  
conclusion. However, to a top agent, this is obviously a falsehood designed to conceal  
  
some devious plot." Gritting her teeth, Kim clenches balled fists at her sides. Closing  
  
her eyes, Kim calms herself, reminding herself that Will Du was certainly correct.  
  
Apparently oblivious to the rising tensions, the Director continues where Agent  
  
Du left off, "We fear that Drakken may be part of a larger conspiracy, and that this cruise  
  
is cover for a rendezvous with these unknown conspirators. We must discover the extent  
  
of this conspiracy and the nature of their plans before we take action."  
  
Kim begins nodding slightly in agreement, "and you want my help finding out  
  
what Drakken's up to."  
  
"Exactly," agrees the Director. Will Du doesn't appear to be sure he agrees with  
  
the Director.  
  
"Alright, Ron and I will get on it right away," says Kim, hoping the Director  
  
won't insist on Will Du accompanying her.  
  
Will Du and the Director glance at each other in surprise. "I thought you'd realize  
  
Miss. Possible, the nature of this mission requires your assistance to be restricted to  
  
yourself," explains the Director.  
  
As Kim puzzles over this statement, Will Du speaks with his usual haughty  
  
calmness, "I am fully capable of accomplishing this mission myself. Your assistance is  
  
only necessary to establish my cover."  
  
Shooting Agent Du a sharp look, the Director attempts to soothe any ruffled  
  
feathers, "We selected you for this mission because I," a discreet glance at Agent Du  
  
made it clear he did not agree, "believe that your extensive experience with these villains  
  
will prove invaluable to the case. You know that I recognize the contributions Mr.  
  
Stoppable can make, but there is simply no way we can provide a believable cover story  
  
for a party of three."  
  
Kim's grow wide as she realizes their intentions. Raising her hand in protest,  
  
Kim put her foot down, "You want me," pointing her finger at herself, "to pretend to be  
  
his wife?" Now the finger was pointed at Will Du, "Not in this lifetime!"  
  
As the Director sighs, Will Du raises another eyebrow, commenting, "I told you  
  
she wouldn't do it," earning him a glare from the Director.  
  
"I'm sure," began the Director.  
  
"No," Kim interrupted firmly, "besides, my Dad would never give his  
  
permission."  
  
The Director sits down with a sign of defeat. "We need your assistance Miss  
  
Possible. I hoped that you would be willing to put aside any feelings of rivalry, and help  
  
us with this case."  
  
Kim is unmoved. Crossing her arms she retorts, "If you need my help so badly,  
  
let Ron and I go under cover, and we'll take care of it ourselves." Kim pauses,  
  
considering if she really meant what she just said. Rapidly Kim realizes that however  
  
uncomfortable it would be, Ron was infinitely preferable to Will Du. "I might be able to  
  
convince my father to agree to that," adds Kim uncertainly.  
  
The Director spreads her hands helplessly, "I would be willing to agree, but we  
  
must have at least one GJ agent accompanying you."  
  
Kim's brow furrows in thought. "Surely you must have an agent who could pose  
  
as Agent Du's wife. Then you could send all four of us."  
  
The Director looks at Will Du before bending forward and lowering her voice,  
  
"All of them already refused. Despite being our top agent, Agent Du isn't very..."  
  
"Congenial?" supplies Kim, despite her irritation at discovering she was GJ's last  
  
choice.  
  
"Affable is the word I was thinking of," replies the Director.  
  
Suddenly, Kim's eyes brighten with excitement as she has an idea. "I know the  
  
perfect person," says Kim, smiling. "Buy four tickets, and make sure we have adjoining  
  
rooms." 


	3. Memories

Author's Note: Okay, now here is an important point about writing for TV sitcoms. There is always that couple that the majority of the audience what to shove together, in this case, Kim and Ron. However, it's the anticipation and tension that makes a story like that fun. In other words you must taunt the reader, but never give them what they want. Taunt people, taunt! Sorry, I've just read too many "fluff" pieces. Enjoy being taunted.  
  
PS: Can someone tell me- Kim's Nana is her father's mother, right? Also if I get something wrong please correct me.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
Bueno Nacho:  
  
Kim and Monique sit next to each other in one of the booths. Across from them,  
  
Ron is busy devouring a grande burrito. In the middle of a bite Ron's cheeks puff out in  
  
shock, while Monique's jaw drops in disbelief. "No way," says Monique, "They didn't!"  
  
"Oh, they did," responds Kim.  
  
Still in disbelief, Monique's eyes slightly widen. "You're not going to do it are  
  
you?" asks Monique.  
  
"Well, someone has to find out what Drakken is up to," interjects Ron.  
  
Continuing, he leans back in the booth, "Though I must say Kim, I think GJ has gone off  
  
the deep end on this one. Your dad is going to go crazy." Finished with his thought, Ron  
  
returns to eating his burrito.  
  
Kim places her elbows on the table, and resting her chin on her hands, smiles. "I  
  
completely agree Ron. That's why I told them you would take Will's place."  
  
A violent expulsion of air from Ron's lungs interrupted his chewing, spewing his  
  
burrito all over the table. "Ughk, bruchk," a mixture of coughing and choking emanates  
  
from Ron's mouth. Violent wheezing begins as the choking fit continues. Ron's eyes  
  
bug out as his arms begin waving franticly.  
  
Meanwhile, Monique is stunned. Shocked, she questions Kim, "You, and Ron?"  
  
Choking and wheezing continues in the background. "It's not for real," protests Kim.  
  
The background noise has been reduced to a steady wheeze. "I know," says  
  
Monique. Tilting her head uneasily she continues, "but... " Monique starts shaking her  
  
head, "I know you and Ron have been friends for a long time, but it's still, you know,  
  
weird."  
  
Ron is folded over as he struggles for air, one hand at his throat, the other  
  
grasping at the edge of the table. His wheezing continues. "Huh?" awakened from his  
  
nap Rufus peeks out of Ron's shirt pocket. "Yipes!" Moving quickly, Rufus scrambles  
  
up to Ron's back and smacks him between the shoulder blades.  
  
"Puhh," Ron begins gasping for breath as his choking fit subsides. After a few  
  
gulps of air, Ron speaks weakly, "Thanks buddy." Extending his hand, Rufus gives him  
  
five.  
  
"No probem," says Rufus.  
  
Ron turns to face Kim and Monique, "Okay, did I hear you right, Kim? You and  
  
me – married? Am I cursed? Or are you trying to make all my childhood nightmares  
  
come true?"  
  
"Gee, thanks," replies Kim with a surly tone.  
  
Ron is too worked up to notice Kim's response. "First monkey ninjas, then Return  
  
to Camp Wanaweep, and now this!" Ron spreads his arms wide, exasperation on his face,  
  
"Ever since we started the 'saving the world thing' it seems like you pick missions that  
  
force me to face my worst fears." Slamming his palms on the table, Ron glares at Kim as  
  
he makes this accusation.  
  
Kim's face conceals her irritation. "What a minute," interjects Monique,  
  
"Marring Kim is your worst fear?"  
  
Kim starts to explain, "It wasn't – "  
  
Ron overrides her, "She used to threaten me with it every time I won an argument  
  
– and then she'd laugh at me," Ron finishes with an indignant look at Kim.  
  
"Ron – " A little tweakedness leaks through Kim's composure.  
  
Ron interrupts her again, "Don't Ron me. You're still angry that I told your dad.  
  
That's why you're doing this," Ron starts tensing with paranoia, "You're still trying to  
  
get back at me!"  
  
Now Kim is angry, "It took two years before my dad stopped teasing me about it!  
  
You have no idea how embarrassing it was!"  
  
Before Ron can respond, Monique interrupts. "Whoa – Kim, you told Ron you  
  
were going to marry him?"  
  
Kim stares blankly in to space, her mouth moving as she struggles to find a  
  
response. "We were eight!" she finally protests to the air over Ron's shoulder.  
  
"Besides," Kim continues as she turns to face Monique, "I only did it because it made  
  
him run away screaming."  
  
*FLASHBACK  
  
Eight-year-olds Ron and Kim sit on the couch in a living room. Ron closes the  
  
book they're looking at with a snap; the title Nursery Tales can be seen on the cover.  
  
"See, I told you," gloats Ron, "The Moon is made of green cheese."  
  
"My Dad's a rocket scientist, and he says it's not," protests Kim.  
  
"You said if I could find it in a book that you'd admit I'm right," says Ron with a  
  
smirk, "I did, so now you have to agree with me."  
  
"I didn't think you'd actually find one," sulks Kim as Ron begins a chant.  
  
"I'm right, and you're wrong. I'm right and you're wrong," laughs Ron excitedly.  
  
Slowly Kim smiles. "It's okay," says Kim breezily, "when we grow up you'll  
  
have to do what I say and agree with me all the time," Kim cocks her head, an evil grin  
  
spreading across her face, "because..."  
  
Ron freezes in fear, holding the book in front of him as shield. Ron begins  
  
backing up as he waves his hands franticly. "No! No! Don't say it! I was wrong. You're  
  
right, it's made of blue cheese not green!" shouts Ron as Kim begins her sing-song chant.  
  
"I'm gonna marry you," Kim taunts, grinning at Ron's reaction.  
  
"Ahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahha," as Ron screams he drops  
  
the book, slaps his hands over his ears, and squeezes his eyes shut. Without ceasing to  
  
scream he begins running in ever widening circles. "Ahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha – "  
  
Ron's scream is abruptly cut off as he slams into a chair and tumbles to the floor. Kim  
  
can be heard laughing uproariously in the background.  
  
*END FLASHBACK  
  
Ron sulks grouchily, but Kim's head rests on her hand as she smiles in fond  
  
reminiscence. She turns to Monique again, "It was even funnier than the time Ron  
  
thought the squirrels were in league with the monkeys."  
  
"Monkeys! Monkeys! Who! What! Where!" Ron hunches up protectively,  
  
bringing his arms in front of his face, punctuating each word with a karate- like shift of  
  
his arms. His eyes search everywhere for danger. Claming he glares at Kim, "That was  
  
so not funny."  
  
Startled, Monique looks at Ron, "I thought you were over your fear of monkeys?"  
  
Ron draws himself up and speaks with great dignity, "Just because one has  
  
triumphed – " Out of the corner of his eye, Ron catches Kim rolling her eyes, and repeats  
  
himself as he raises his finger into the air. "Yes I say Triumphed!" People in the  
  
restaurant turn to look as Ron rises to his feet, "over the ULTIMATE EVIL!" Pausing,  
  
Ron sits calmly, "does not mean one wants to do it every day," picking up his second  
  
burrito he continues, "particularly in the place where one eats."  
  
"Uh huh," agrees Rufus with a nod.  
  
Kim's face is buried in her hands, while Monique stares at Ron in amazement. As  
  
the other diners return to their meals, Kim peaks out from behind her hands. "Are we  
  
done with the drama now?" she asks Ron.  
  
Ron sighs, "Okay, I guess it doesn't really matter." He scowls at Kim, "you  
  
already make me do what you say anyway."  
  
"I do not!" as Kim protests, Ron and Monique share a look. Noticing, Kim takes  
  
deep breath, and decides to let it go this time. Ignoring the subject, Kim continues,  
  
"Unfortunately, GJ insists that Will be in on the mission." Twisting away from Monique,  
  
Kim coquettishly looks over her shoulder, "So I need someone to pose as his wife."  
  
Monique stares at Kim in confusion before comprehension dawns, "Ohhh no!  
  
Hold it right there sister! I am way past playing house," says Monique firmly.  
  
Kim continues as if she hadn't heard, "We'll have next door rooms so Ron will  
  
sleep with Will and you can sleep with me." Kim puts on her puppy pout, "It'll be fun."  
  
Monique squeezes her eyes shut to block out Kim's pout, "Ohh, Arrgh. All  
  
right!" As Moniquie opens her eyes her shoulders sag in defeat. She shakes her head as  
  
Kim lets out a cry of triumph and gives Monique a hug.  
  
"What a minute," says Ron warily, "You mean I have to sleep in the same room  
  
as Will Du?" Ron considers for a moment, "Alright, but he better not wear that shocky  
  
thingy to bed!" 


End file.
